home alone, the reality

So on day 3 of alone at the no-tell-motel, and here’s what i’ve learnt:

• Number 1 – Keep the master key on a chain around your neck. This will insure that ONLY master key doesn’t get lost, misplaced, dropped or otherwise go missing. This will also insure one’s not divorced after the week is done.
  
• The people that leave tips, are usually the people that keep the room really really tidy
• The people that are the bitchiest usually steal the extra toilet paper and kleenex when they leave
• Even when you carefully check items off your to do list… you will always forget one thing.
• When you are left for the week to manage the motel without a vehicle, it will inevitably rain all week… thus not only trapping you at the motel, but trapping you inside the motel. (note: Being trapped inside the no-tell-motel can fuck with your head)
• Deciding not to have any alcohol or chocolate in the house the week you are trapped in the no-tell-motel wasn’t a good idea after all
• When the person who’s more capable of handling people/situations is away, the person who’s least able to handle people/situations will have more than the usual situations/cranky people to handle.
• You will have PMS the week your gf ABANDONS you to the no-tell-motel
• You will have a child like reaction inside your head when your GF tells you about the wonderfuldrive she had along the oregon coast on her way down to California

So far it’s going great internets….